Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6
> miles!"
> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital
> watches!"
>
> "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
> "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we
> make up here?"
> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when
> it hits a 727?"
>
> From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long
> takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
> Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting,
> identify yourself immediately!"
> Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not
> f...ing stupid!"
>
> O'Hare Approach Control to a 7 47: "United 329 heavy,
> your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,
> Eastbound."
> United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say
> this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
>
> A student became lost during a solo cross-country
> flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on
> radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
> Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
>
> A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an
> exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
>
> San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right
> turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you
> are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101,
> make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
>
> There's a story about the military pilot calling for a
> priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter
> was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told
> the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52
> that had one engine shut down.
> "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded
> seven-engine approach."